Teen Mental Health: Key Signs Your Teen Needs Help

A Heartfelt Guide for Parents and Caregivers

As parents and caregivers, we’d do anything to protect our kids. We know when they have a fever, when something’s off at school, or when they’re just not quite themselves. But when it comes to their mental health? That can feel harder to spot—and even harder to talk about.

If you’re worried about your teen, you’re not alone. It’s scary and confusing when your child starts acting in ways you don’t recognize, especially when emotions feel bigger than either of you know how to handle. But learning to recognize the signs and knowing when to step in can make all the difference.

Signs Your Teen May Need Help

Recognizing when your teen may be struggling with their mental health is an essential first step. Parents and caregivers are often the first to notice changes in behavior, mood, or performance that may signal a deeper issue, and it is often overlooked due to what I call the “teen years.” But, if you see any of the following warning signs, it’s important to consult a professional, such as a school counselor, mental health provider, or healthcare specialist:

• Persistent sadness, withdrawal, or irritability lasting more than two weeks
• Thoughts or attempts of self-harm or suicide
• Sudden, intense fear or panic attacks, often with symptoms like a racing heart or difficulty breathing
• Frequent physical altercations or aggressive behavior
• Severe behavioral outbursts that put themselves or others at risk
• Refusal to eat, purging, or using laxatives to lose weight
• Intense worries or fears interfering with everyday activities
• Extreme difficulty managing impulses, leading to unsafe or disruptive behavior
• Use of drugs or alcohol
• Rapid mood swings affecting relationships
• Significant changes in personality or behavior
• Decline in academic performance

It’s also important to pay special attention to your child’s behavior during or after significant life events, such as:

• The loss of a loved one
• A divorce or parental separation
• Major transitions like moving homes or starting a new school
• Exposure to traumatic events, such as natural disasters
• Bullying or teasing
• Social or academic struggles

Teen Mental Health Treatment

If you’re concerned about your teen’s behavior, seeking teen mental health treatment help as early as possible is crucial.

Steps to Consider:

1. Consult a professional

   Reach out to your child’s doctor, school nurse, or another trusted healthcare provider to discuss your concerns. These professionals can help you better understand the symptoms and behaviors you’re observing. I’ve also included a Resources page for providers in the Richmond, VA area that we have personally used or have been highly recommended.

2. Consider a specialist

   Ask your child’s primary care provider if a specialist in child behavioral health might be necessary. Ensure that the specialist has experience treating the specific challenges your child is facing.

3. Learn about treatment options

   Work closely with your medical provider to discuss possible treatment plans, including therapy, medications, or other interventions.

4. Partner with your child’s school

   Collaborate with teachers, school counselors, or other school staff to create a supportive environment for your child. We had a very good experience and support from Henrico Public Schools.

5. Build a support network

   Involve trusted family members, friends, or community resources to ensure your child feels supported and understood.

Starting the Conversation About Teen Mental Health

Talking to your child about their mental health can feel daunting but creating an open and safe space for communication is key. Here are a few suggestions that were helpful for me to begin conversations:

• “Can you tell me what’s been going on? How are you feeling?”
• “Have you felt like this before?”
• “It’s okay to talk to an adult about your feelings. I’m here to listen. How can I help?”
• “Do you think talking to someone else might make you feel better?”
• “I’m worried about you. Have you had thoughts about hurting yourself or others?”

When discussing mental health, keep these tips in mind:

• Speak straightforwardly and calmly
• Use language that matches your child’s age and developmental level—fewer details for younger children and more in-depth discussions for teens, if you think they can handle it.
• Choose a time and place where your child feels comfortable and safe. Timing was something I had to be very mindful of, instead of being impulsive. I’m still working on this skill, but I’m getting better!
• Watch their reactions during the conversation, and slow down if they seem confused or upset
• Most importantly, listen openly and validate their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel how they do. And, it’s okay not to have all the answers.

Teen Mental Health Resources

As you navigate this journey, know that you’re not alone. There are countless teen mental health resources designed to help parents and caregivers understand and support children struggling with their mental health. I’ve listed a few below. Also, if you are located in the Richmond, VA area, please check out the Resources page for local providers.

• National Institute on Mental Health (NIH): Children and Mental Health: Is This Just a Stage?
• Mayo Clinic: Mental illness in children: Know the signs
• National Institute on Health (NIH): Helping Children and Adolescents Cope With Traumatic Events
• National Library of Medicine: 8 tips for talking about drugs and alcohol
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): How to talk to your teen about mental health
• Healthy Children: Teen Mental Health: How to Know When Your Child Needs Help

Moving Forward Together

Parenting isn’t always easy, and supporting a child with mental health challenges comes with its unique hurdles. However, by staying informed, seeking support, and fostering open communication, you can make a lasting difference in your child’s life. Remember, your love, patience, and willingness to advocate for them are the most powerful tools you have.

Take it one step at a time—you’ve got this.

FAQs

1. How did you first recognize your teen needed mental health support?

   I began noticing persistent changes in my teen’s behavior—things like withdrawing from family activities, friends, excessive sleeping, irritability, and lack of interest going to school. Initially, I dismissed it as “normal teenage moodiness,” but as these signs continued to escalate, I knew something deeper was going on. For parents, trust your gut. If your teen’s behavior feels unusual or concerning, it’s worth investigating.

2. What was the biggest challenge in finding mental health support for your teen?

   The biggest challenge was figuring out where to start. With so many resources available and so many not taking new patients, it felt overwhelming to know which direction to take. I began by reaching out to my teen’s primary care doctor, who guided me toward specialized mental health professionals. Once I took that first step, the path became clearer.

3. How do you cope with the emotional stress of supporting a teen with mental health struggles?

   It’s not easy, and there are days when the stress feels overwhelming. I’ve learned that self-care isn’t optional—it’s essential. Taking time for myself, whether it’s a walk, journaling, or talking to someone I trust, helps me recharge. I’ve also leaned on support groups and counseling to navigate the emotional toll.

4. What should I do if my teen refuses to talk or rejects help?

   This is a common challenge, and I’ve been there. The key is patience. I focused on creating a safe and nonjudgmental space, so my teen knew they could come to me when they were ready. Often, we relied a neutral third party, like a therapist , that helped break through barriers.

5. What’s one thing you wish you’d known earlier in this journey?

   I wish I had understood that recovery is not a straight path. There will be setbacks, and that’s okay. Each small victory—no matter how minor it may seem—is a step toward progress. Celebrating those moments helped me stay hopeful.

6. How do you manage feelings of guilt or doubt as a parent?

   Guilt is something I’ve struggled with, especially on tough days. I remind myself that I’m doing my best and that I’m showing up for my teen, which is what matters most. Leaning on a support network of friends, family, therapists, teachers and County resources has helped me feel less alone.

7. What advice would you give to parents who suspect their teen needs mental health support?

   Act sooner rather than later. If you’re worried about your teen’s mental health, start the conversation and seek professional help. You don’t have to have all the answers. Taking that first step—whether it’s calling a therapist, talking to your teen’s doctor, or reaching out to a school counselor—can set the foundation for healing.

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   Getting Immediate Help

   If you believe your child is at risk of harming themselves or others, it’s essential to act quickly. Contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or accessing their online chat. Help is available 24/7.