Self-care for parents supporting a teen with mental health struggles is essential but often overlooked. You’re doing something incredible. You’re showing up, you’re trying, and you’re loving through the hard days. But I know firsthand how easy it is to get lost in the constant worry and care for your child. When my teen was in the thick of their mental health struggles, I thought self-care was selfish. How could I even consider taking time for myself when they were hurting so much? I was wrong.
Here’s the truth I learned the hard way: If you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t give your best to your child.
Why Self-Care Feels Impossible…But Isn’t
Let’s face it—life is chaotic when you’re a parent, even without mental health struggles in the mix. Add in therapy appointments, late-night conversations, and the weight of worry, and you feel like you’re running on fumes. I remember nights sitting outside my teen’s door just in case they needed me, mornings spent googling “how to help a depressed teenager,” and afternoons feeling like I’d failed at all of it.
It’s exhausting, emotionally and physically. But here’s the thing: You can’t pour from an empty cup. I know it’s a cliché, but it’s true. When I finally started prioritizing self-care, I wasn’t just surviving—I was actually able to be more present and supportive for my teen.
What Self-Care Really Looks Like
When I first heard “self-care,” I rolled my eyes. I pictured bubble baths, spa days, and yoga retreats—none of which felt realistic. But self-care isn’t just about extravagance; it’s about doing what you need to feel human again.
Here are some things that worked for me:
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5 Minutes of Quiet
Sometimes, all I needed was five minutes alone in my car. I’d sit in silence, take a deep breath, and let myself feel whatever was coming up—frustration, sadness, or even anger. It wasn’t about fixing anything in those moments; it was about letting myself feel without judgment.
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Connecting with Friends
I lost touch with friends for a while because I felt like no one understood what I was going through. But when I started to open up to friends, even just to vent, it was a game-changer. Find your person, whether it’s a friend, family member, or support group. You don’t have to go through this alone.
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Sleep
This one’s tough. The anxiety of wondering how your child is doing at 2 a.m. doesn’t just disappear. And, I felt like I slept with one eye open. But I started setting small goals—like going to bed 30 minutes earlier or taking a nap while they were at therapy. Sleep is magical when you can get it.
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Professional Help for Yourself
It didn’t take me much time to realize that therapy isn’t just for my teen—it’s for me too. Talking to someone who could help me process my emotions and give me tools to cope was invaluable. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or burnt out, it’s okay to seek help for yourself. Be sure to check out my local Resources page for mental health providers that my family has personal experience with.
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Finding Joy in Little Things
I started a small garden last year. I’m not a gardening expert by any means, but watering plants in the morning and picking off dead leaves became a simple ritual that grounded me. I found such joy watching my garden grow. Maybe for you, it’s reading, baking, or even watching your favorite TV show for 20 minutes. Find the small joys—they add up.
Letting Go of Guilt
Guilt is a constant companion when your child has mental health struggles. I’d feel guilty for going to lunch with a friend or for laughing at a silly meme while my teen was having a hard day. But here’s what I learned: Taking care of yourself isn’t abandoning your child. It’s showing them what healthy coping looks like.
Your teen is watching you, whether they admit it or not. When they see you prioritizing your well-being, I think it gives them permission to do the same.
Practical Tips for Self-Care For Parents With Mental Health
Here are a few things you can try starting today:
- Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to extra commitments when you’re already feeling stretched thin.
- Create a Routine: Even simple things like drinking your tea in peace every morning can make a difference.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Did you make it through a tough conversation with your teen? Did you make it to lunchtime without incident? Celebrate that.
- Ask for Help: Whether it’s a friend watching your younger kids for an hour or a therapist guiding you through the chaos, don’t be afraid to lean on others.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Care For Parent of Teens with Mental Health Issues
When you take care of yourself, it can create a ripple effect. It made me calmer, more patient, and better equipped to handle the tough moments. I think my teen felt that too.
Supporting my teen through mental health struggles is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s messy, heartbreaking, and sometimes feels never-ending. But you don’t have to lose yourself in the process. You’re not just a caregiver—you’re a person who deserves care too.
So, if you’re reading this while your coffee gets cold or in those few quiet minutes before bed, take a moment to ask yourself: What can I do for me today? It doesn’t have to be big. Just one small act of kindness for yourself can make all the difference—for you and for your teen.
You’ve got this.
Additional Resources: Self-Care for Parents
Unicef: Self-Care for Parents Tips
Yale School of Medicine: Self-Care Strategies for Parents & Caregivers
Cleveland Clinic: 10 Realistic Ways to Practice Self-Care as a Parent
In the Event Of An Emergency
If your child expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please take them seriously. Below is a list of potential options:
- Contact your child’s doctor
- Reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
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- Call: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
- Call or Text: 988
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- If the situation is critical, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
