Navigating High School with a Suicidal Teen

When you’re raising a suicidal teen with severe mental health struggles, life becomes a constant balancing act between fear and hope, darkness and light. As a parent, it’s a journey no one prepares you for, but one you navigate with unwavering love, strength, and determination.

For privacy, I will refer to my teen as Ryan throughout this blog. Ryan, who is transgender and uses they/them and he/him pronouns, has been deeply supportive of sharing their story here. They hope their journey of self-discovery and mental health struggles will help others feel connected and find hope. As I write, I am committed to honoring every part of who Ryan is.

Looking back at the four years Ryan spent in high school, I can honestly say that the support we received from Henrico County Schools in Richmond, VA, played a crucial role in helping Ryan survive—and even thrive. Their care, understanding, and compassion were nothing short of extraordinary, and for that, I am forever grateful.

The Early Days: Embarrassment and Hesitation

I remember the first time I reached out to Ryan’s guidance counselor. At that point, I was still trying to keep Ryan’s struggles under wraps, unsure of how much to share. There’s a certain stigma that surrounds mental health, and as much as I knew it wasn’t my fault or Ryan’s fault, I couldn’t shake the feeling of embarrassment. Why was my child struggling so much? Why couldn’t I fix it?

During Ryan’s first hospitalization, I told the counselor only that Ryan was “sick.” I couldn’t bring myself to explain the severity of the situation. I wasn’t ready. The school was very supportive, helping Ryan catch up on missed work during the three weeks they were out of school.

The Turning Point: Compassion Over Judgment

Less than a year later, Ryan was hospitalized again after a very serious suicide attempt. This time, I couldn’t keep the truth hidden. When I called the guidance counselor to explain I had a suicidal teen, the immediate outpouring of compassion brought me to tears. There was no judgment, only a sincere desire to help.

We decided together that Ryan needed to be placed on homebound instruction. It was clear that traditional school wouldn’t work for Ryan during this fragile period, and grades mattered to Ryan even though schoolwork was hard to digest at this point.  For the next three years, Ryan’s education became a mix of homebound instruction and intermittent classroom attendance.

The School’s Support: A Lifeline

When Ryan was able to attend school in person, the school’s staff went above and beyond to create a supportive environment for Ryan. They provided safe spaces Ryan could retreat to when overwhelmed and identified staff members Ryan could turn to for extra support. These small yet significant accommodations made a world of difference.

There were tough days—days when Ryan self-harmed at school. I would get a call and rush over, terrified of what I might find. But the staff always handled these situations with care and professionalism. They didn’t judge Ryan; they helped. They showed my child compassion when it was needed most, and that compassion became a lifeline.

The Struggles and Triumphs of a Suicidal Teen

Over the course of four years, Ryan was hospitalized nine times for suicide attempts. Each time felt like a fresh wound, a new layer of heartbreak. There were times I honestly didn’t know if Ryan would survive high school, let alone graduate. But through it all, there was one constant: school.

School gave Ryan a goal to work toward. It was the light at the end of the tunnel, the beacon that kept us fighting for tomorrow. I clung to the hope that Ryan could graduate on time with their classmates. And Ryan, despite everything, held onto that hope too.

The teachers, counselors, and staff rallied around us, providing the support Ryan needed to stay on track academically. Ryan worked incredibly hard, completing assignments even during some of the darkest times. It wasn’t easy, but they did it.

Graduation Day: A Celebration of Resilience

The day Ryan graduated high school was one of the proudest moments of my life. Seeing them walk across that stage, wearing their cap and gown, smiling from ear to ear, surrounded by friends and school staff that had stood by them through it all—it was a moment I will never forget.

Ryan’s strength to keep going, even when the odds were stacked against them, is nothing short of heroic. They didn’t just survive high school; they conquered it in my opinion. And as a parent, I couldn’t be prouder of the fight they put up to reclaim their life.

Life Beyond High School

At the time of this writing, Ryan is now a freshman in college. While their journey with mental health struggles is far from over, they are in a much better place. They continue to use the tools they’ve gained—therapy, ECT treatments, medication, and self-care—to manage their depression and anxiety. And while there is no cure for these struggles, there is hope.

Ryan’s story is a testament to the fact that life is worth fighting for. It’s a reminder that even in the face of overwhelming challenges, there is always a path forward.

A Message to Other Parents With A Suicidal Teen

To any parent navigating a similar journey, know this: You are not alone. Lean on your community, medical professionals, your school system, and your support network. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. And most importantly, never give up on your child. I hope my Resources page can provide some assistance to those in need.

Ryan’s story isn’t just about surviving; it’s about thriving against all odds. It’s about finding strength in the darkest moments and choosing to fight for tomorrow.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues and is in crisis, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline at 988. Help is available 24/7 via phone, chat, or text.